Born Standing Up by Steve Martin

Hmm...even as a big fan of stand-up, this book wasn't all that interesting. And if you aren't into stand-up, interested in the way acts are created, copied, and pushed further, forget it.

Martin can write. That's probably a dumb thing to say. What I mean is that he's written a handful of decent books and tons of comedy. But this book, with the exception of the last 20 pages, reads like a long list of jokes, venues, and anecdotes that had all the makings of being incredible, but the pace of the book is so fast that there's no time to enjoy anything.

He really hits a personal, emotional core in the last 20 pages when he talks about the difficulty of fame and the resolution he find with his father. Despite the rest of the book not doing much for me, the last 20 were still effective and emotional. But the work it takes to get there just isn't worth it, and it's ultimately disappointing because it gives you just a little taste of how great the book could have been.

A Common Pornography by Kevin Sampsell

Well, it has ups and downs.

The book is written in short vignettes, which works well for me. It's an interesting way to write autobiography because it allows you to focus on only the parts that are interesting or engaging. But I started feeling like the book fell in a trap where the vignettes seemed a little too disconnected, and they start to have little meaning to the reader though it's clear that they are significant to the writer. Especially the parts about girls. I coudn't keep them straight, nor did I really care to. I don't keep in touch with most of my exes, so why would I want to add someone else's to my life?

The book was mostly about the author's twenties, it seemed like, which is a pretty boring part of someone's life. And that's coming from someone in his twenties. I have some shit I could write about, some girlfriend issues and so on, but I don't think it's that interesting. If you recorded yourself talking to a girl you were interested in every year in your twenties and then listened to the tapes on your birthday, you'd be depressed as hell.

I guess, ultimately, I felt like these were important events in the life of the author, but he didn't really take us to a place where I felt like I knew him. He's like the older kid in high school who you know all about but never hung out with.

Things We Didn't See Coming by Steve Amsterdam

It's a lighter post(sort of)-apocalypse.

There are some interesting elements to the book, for sure. The style of having a series of short stories that take us through the narrator's life allow us to see the re-crumbled society, some of the middle, and then the end. There are some really good scenes in here, but if you're looking for a sort of action-packed apocalypse/survival thing, this isn't your best bet.


The book went into a bit of a romance thing that didn't really do a whole lot for me towards the middle. That's me, I guess. It's an interesting idea to consider that people will still be in love and whatnot during the apocalypse, but the somewhat detached voice, which makes sense as that's the character's survival tactic, doesn't mesh all that well with the romantic portions for me. And why would you bother with writing a 3-way scene in the middle of the earth's slow decline? Okay, if fire is raining down and horsemen are getting shit done, I get that. Act of passion before the final end. Why the hell not? But when we're just sort of slowly sinking into oblivion there's no real reason for it. I can speak on that with personal authority.

Ultimately, it's not bad and pretty short at 199 pages, which is a plus in my book. If you are reading, at least get up through the story with the main chaacter's horse running away. If you're not feeling it after that, I say put it down.

Tell-All by Chuck Palahniuk

Okay, not my favorite Chuck Palahniuk book.

I'm a pretty big fan, read ALL of his books and have seen him speak twice, which is a blast if you ever get the chance.

Like always, he delivers in terms of a quick read, some social commentary, and a little bit of humor thrown in the mix (see: anything attributed to Walter Winchell in this book). That said, the story is so-so.

The book really hits its stride about a hundred pages in, which is over halfway. If you're going to read this book, here are some things that might help you enjoy it more:

1. Feel free to completey ignore anything in boldface. These will be brand names and names of celebrities. Chuck Palahniuk does this sort of thing in books, for example, the inclusion of esoteric medical terms in Choke, to slow readers down and make them pay attention to what's going on. So, don't get caught up in the names is all I'm saying, don't let that ruin it for you the way it seems to for so many others. Take the boldface as a sign saying, "You do not need to remember this person."

2. Accept that this is not Fight Club. Everybody wants Chuck Palahniuk to rewrite Fight Club. Say what you will about his use of forumla, but Palahniuk is a writer who is constantly trying new things, sometimes with great success (for example, in the much-underrated Rant) and sometimes with less success. But if you love Fight Club for its testosterone, snappy angry youth one-liners, or ready-for-the-screen action, look to another book.

3. A book being short does not mean that you are being ripped off. His books tend to be short, faster reads. I like that. I don't see this as a laziness on the author's part or a disadvantage. He is a rabid revisionist, and edits each line over and over rather than stuffing a book with crap.

His last couple of books haven't been my favorite, but the amount of work that goes into them is evident and appreciated.

Chasing the White Dog by Max Watman

Number one, if you're looking for a primer on making booze, look somewhere else.

Okay, now that the drunken DIY'ers are out of the way we can get down to business.

Dog is overall a decent book. It has some definite ups, and Max Watman must be a talented writer as some of the most interesting chapters had to do with Nascar's origins in bootlegging and I have ZERO interest in Nascar. That said, the book doesn't have a very strong focus. There is some history, some rubbing elbows with modern-day legit disitllers, and the whole things ends with a drawn-out trial piece.

My personal opinion: Read the modern-day stuff, read about Max's attempts at moonshining, read about the Nascar parts and Junior Johnson. The rest is, well, mash.

Also, real nice of him to list some great whiskeys and talk about distilleries, but nothing that's even remotely on the cheap side. I'm not saying that you have to stick to bumwines.com, but 70 bucks for a bottle is pushing both my problem areas: cashflow and sobriety.

Pop. 1280 by Jim Thompson

Well, there are a couple different things I've read about this book.

1. Reviews along the lines of "Nobody writes through the mind of a sick bastard like Jim Thompson."

2. Reviews that say something about a dopey small-town sherriff who bumbles his way through things.

I think I was expecting something like a Confederacy of Dunces by Cormac McCarthy. But I was a little disappointed. If you're thinking about reading this book, give it until at least page 57. That's where the real tone of the book begins. The author takes you for a little bit of a ride, but that's about where you get on solid ground.

Overall, the book set up an expectation that it didn't maintain throughout. The plot twists around quite a bit, but the twists were more quirky than dark or engaging.

The main thing people seem to be saying about this author is that he is a master of black humor, which I didn't find to be true in this book. And that's not because I don't find murder and whatnot funny. Murder can be hilarious. Have you ever see a clown murder someone, or a sped-up video clip of someone being murdered to the Benny Hill theme? Good stuff. But the murder in this book is mostly part of a plan to bang a couple different ladies. It's more like a hillbilly Three's Company than anything else, climbing out the window to bang some other lady and shit like that.

You're a Horrible Person But I Like You, the Believer Book of Advice

Dear Pete,

I'm thinking of reading this book, but I'm not sure if it's a good use of my time. Also, I have foot pain. What should I do?

-Foot Pain in Brisbane

Dear Foot Pain,

Let's start with the book.

The concept of this book is hilarious and maybe undersold. The idea is that people write in with their Dear-Abby-Esque questions and then receive advice. BUT that advice comes from a linup of comedians and comedy writers, probably the worst people to ask.

Because there are something like 30 different writers, the entries are pretty uneven. Some of the best include Amy Sedaris, Jim Gaffigan, and Marc Maron, who gives a piece of advice to a lady about talking dirty that is just about the funniest one-liner this side of...I don't know, Wayne's World II?

There's not much reason to get too specific about who was shitty, but the more meta the writers got, the less entertaining. A lof of them used the string of letters to create a second-layer comedy scenario, and that generally didn't work for me.

My advice would be to read it for free in the bookstore while nursing a chai so long that there's a milk skin on top.

As far as the foot pain goes, I would say that you should probably stop sleeping around, maybe then your foot wouldn't hurt so bad. Or maybe it wouldn't make any difference. But either way, stopping sleeping around is probably a good choice.

Best,
Pete